Canadian Elections Almost Go Unnoticed

With everything that is happening in the world, you could be forgiven for forgetting to go out and vote today if you are a Canadian citizen. I just got back from voting and I must say, they really should have included a vomit-bag with the voting card. I mean, this election was just such a waste of everyone's time (and tax dollars) and the power structure of the country will inevitably stay almost exactly the same. So here is what I have to say to the leaders of our 5 major political parties:

Why waste our tax dollars on a useless election Mr. Harper? You, as well as the rest of Canada, know that you are an idiot, so why not just ride out your full term and go away! We don't like you. The only reason you are getting any votes is because you lie well and can keep a straight face while doing it, and because voters are still pissed at the Liberals for the sponsorship scandal.

Stephane Dion, once you lose this election to the above mentioned imbecile, you might consider moving aside and letting a more charismatic leader come to lead the Liberal party. As much as I respect your intelligence, you have 0 charisma and ability to move and motivate people. The liberals need someone like Obama, to at least create the illusion of a breath of fresh air. Do I sense young Justin Trudeau being groomed for the position? We will see...

Jack, you got lucky this election. I don't usually vote based on my dreams, but I dreamt last weekend that we were having lunch, so for the lack of a better choice, I voted for you. Consider yourself very priviliged!

Gilles. What can I say to you that you don't already know? Quebec is a part of Canada and will always be a part of Canada. We are moving towards a unified world, not a separated and segregated one, so when you figure that out, you might want to get that big French stick out of your ass, and let a new generation of Quebecer politicians onto the scene.

Elizabeth, I can't say I know much about you. I can only say that if I did not have that dream about having lunch with Jack Layton, I would have voted for your party. Go Greens!

So that was the official exit poll taken last night by the Globe and Mail.

If you are looking at this from a foreign country, it should be quite indicative of how shitty our choices are, if I voted based on a dream that I had. Hopefully Jack won't disappoint if he wins...


Some readings if you are interested:

Associated Press - Sketches of Top Party Leaders

National Post - Canadian Election Night

Toronto Star - Michael Moore Turns Table on Tories?

Globe & Mail - Leaders Face Tough Fight Beyond Finish Line

Globe & Mail - Layton Says NDP Message Got Through